This week has been seriously hard.  Ah well, what can I do.  I am seriously tired today but will face it with a smile and try to make the best of a very  hard night.  I slept maybe four hours, I guess that's better than nothing.  My shingle seem to be better, knock on wood.  My joints don't hurt like they have.  It's just the lower right abdominal pain that won't subside.  I did get a new heating pad that can be dry and wet and has an automatic shutoff.  Problem with the shutoff is as soon as it shuts off, I wake up.   But it is much safer that way.  Hope others are feeling better than I am.

My day is just not normal.  I spend it taking pain pills, crawling into bed, sitting on the toilet and in between I have a few good cries.  I do work and try to get some things done in between but it isn't easy.  On a regular day or week I don't leave the house.  It's just too hard.  I either deal with pain or bowel issues.  My diet is very limited and has been for about 9 months.  When I get very hungry I have a piece of toast, otherwise it's jello cups, yogurt and eggs or peanut butter.  I still cook meals for my family but haven't eaten them in almost a year.  Some days I have horrendous joint pain, nausea and a fever.  I long for the days when I would sleep decent, wake up feeling energetic.  Eat whatever I wanted to and have a full day and come home tired and ready for bed.  To be able to leave the house, feel well and want to and be able to do things.  This disease makes you crawl in and hide, just to be able to deal with your life and symptoms.  I continue with the hope that things will change, crohn's, lupus, TB and Shingles something has to getter better soon than later.

Seriously, I feel disgusted with a few people in my life.  You would expect to be given a certain amount of patience in dealing with us.  I am sick literally 24 hours a day.  I didn't sleep last night due to the pain.  My mouth and nose are full of sores.  Not pleasant.  The pain in my lower right abdomen was so bad I just literally sat up all night with a heating pad.  People are so mean, they say mean things and treat you poorly when you are at your lowest point.  When your ability to stand up for yourself is just not available to you.  I think it says a lot about someones character if they take advantage of people at their weakest moments.  They go about their lives and leave you worse for the wear after taking it, it's really unbelievable and sad.  You can only hope people will grow and change but some are just going to be like that and never realize the hurt they leave in their path.

Another symptoms.  Actually has been going on for a while, just I have tried to keep it on the down low.  Unfortunately, my husband noticed one day and then while I sleep.  My right hand tremors.  He seems to be pretty worried about it, but seriously with all that I have going on, it's just another symptom to figure out.  I will mention it when I go to the doctors.  I am also experiencing fluttering in my chest.  Although my blood pressure checked at home seems fine.  Going to the doctor is of little interest to me, I even loathe going.  Not only that, but they really have been little to no help to me lately.  Crohn's, lupus, latent TB, Shingles, GERD,  Uterine Fibroids and now Tremors.  I will try to keep a smile on my face.

A few days ago I woke up with a new red rash on my stomach and blisters.  I am thinking after getting some wisdom from my ailing mother that I have Shingles.  It's like a bad joke, seriously.  Last night was a horrible night of sleeping, I can't explain it exactly but it's extremely hard to sleep through excruciating pain.  I'm thankful that I am sleeping but the sleep is odd when you are hurting.  It literally was almost impossible to force myself up and to move. If it wasn't for needing to run to the restroom I wouldn't have gotten out of bed at all.  I will forge on as I have work to do and a business to run.  I think this is what keeps me moving.  Seriously though, it's going to be an extremely long hard day. 

Extended family stress and a very sick hard weekend has sent me over the edge.  I feel like I have been hit by a train and every movement just hurts.  I will forge on.  Some people are mean bullies and I just have so little time for it.  The best thing I can do for myself is to cut ties from them and live my own life and take care of myself as no one else really seems to care anyway.  So here's to a better day today without the drama of the evil family members who have nothing to do but be mean to others!

Try having diarrhea and pain every time you eat or drink.  Then add 10 to 15 bowel movements a day, sometimes accidents included.  Add again, joint pain and aches that make you feel like a very old person, even if you are young.  Then add weight loss due to lack of eating and diarrhea.  Lastly, sleep problems.  Now we could add a lot more than that but we will leave it as is.  Consider living your daily life, everyday with all of these issues.  Will you sometimes say or spell things wrong, answer less quickly than you used to or respond wrong?  My experience is yes, consider people who live everyday with a chronic or debilitating illness.  When you come across someone regularly or once in a while in this position, give them a break.  Add a bit more kindness to how you treat them, be less quick to be critical.  Offer a kind word.  Someday you may to be in the same position and your kindness will be payed forward.