Yesterday I ate a banana and a cup of Activia Yogurt.  I changed five times and bathed three.  That pretty much was my day in a nutshell.  I guess it explains how I felt pretty clearly.  The only good thing, is that I am able to be home and not have to be out and about.  It makes a big difference in having to deal with these type of life issues.  I can remember being in a classroom and wondering what the heck I was going to do when this disease first kicked in and having to run and use the students restrooms, not fun.  Then having to bring changes of clothes with me to work as many times I would have to change before or during my day at work.  So being home is just so nice, it's hard enough to deal with this crap, excuse my pun but being home just takes the stress off of it.  So for those folks on disability with Crohn's Disease, they more than deserve it.

My son started juicing to try and see if he could help his epilepsy which came on the summer before his Senior year in High School.  So I have been trying a little each day to see if I can tolerate it.  This morning it was like giving birth, there is  no other way to explain the pain.  Screaming and crying trying to get through it.   It is just so intolerable.  I don't know if it's the little bit of juicing I am trying.  It tastes wonderful and I could easily do it for every meal but I am not sure it is worth it.  My son found that he couldn't do it strictly without food as his epilepsy just wasn't liking it.  You read and hear about how people are magically cured juicing or going some other natural route, that's just what it is, magic.  It is mean to put forth claims and then put people who are struggling anyways in such harms way as to try things that may in fact be healthy but just are not going to work to cure their diseases.  These diseases did not come on overnight and nothing we do is going to cure them overnight, if it's too good to be true, it's too good to be true.  I always wondered how all that fiber was being tolerated by patients with Crohn's Disease and it obviously isn't.  

My fatigue is just over the top.  Ever since I woke all I have felt like doing is going back to bed.  My joints are overwhelming me with pain, my abdominal pain is killing me and I just don't have the energy to keep moving.  Anyone who used to know me, knows that I was the energizer bunny.  I never sat still and moved from the time I got up till I went to bed.  Now I just find it hard to stay out of bed.  But once again, I am thankful I am able to do that. I can't imagine having to get up and go to a job feeling like this, there is just no way I would be able to.  Hopefully the fatigue will get better, but my experience tells me I'm do for a major lupus outbreak.

Seriously rough night.  I just couldn't fall asleep through the dang pain.  Nothing seemed to help.  When I finally dozed off, I awoke to excruciating pain.  Ugh! I am so tired and just sick and tire of being sick and tired.  This disease is hard enough to deal with, but with lack of sleep it's intolerable.  Can anyone say CRANKY!

The last six days I have felt like I have a severe case of the flu.  I know that it is my Crohn's and Lupus.  Last night the migraine kicked in.  I used to have a limited diet I could tolerate and now even those few foods cause me great harm.  If I sleep, I wake up with severe abdominal pain and the morning is spent trying to tolerate the pain.  The chronic pain really takes a toll on your system.  I notice my hair falling out, my lupus flaring with red rashes that burn and I'm sure that is the reason for the migraine.  My patience is low, I have very little time for all the petty games in life, my joy level cannot be ruined by things that just really don't matter in the scheme of things.  But everyday I put a brave face on and get up and tolerate it the best that I can.  The less I eat the better it will be but eventually the fatigue gives way and I find myself eating a few crackers or a piece of toast only to pay for it immediately!

Back to not being able to sleep through the pain.  Nothing seems to help and yesterday was just one of those days.  My lupus is flaring and I am really broken out and the joint pain is horrendous along with the pain in my lower right abdomen.  This all seems to be constant and doesn't change.  Had some toast and crackers yesterday and a bit of yogurt, really stuck to my diet for this disease.  The lupus rash seems to not be wanted to go away and is a bit miserable.  Ah well, there really isn't anything I can do but I keep looking and searching and hoping.

Tried to go run an errand and ended up spending the whole time in the restroom at the grocery store.  Wondering if I was going to feel well enough to be able to get in the car and go back home.  Such is the story of my life.  I think that's why I am so happy to be able to be at home.  Leaving the house is just not feasible as sick as I am.  It doesn't look like it's going to change anytime soon either.  Seems to just continually go downhill.  Thankful to get home and take a pain pill and put on my heating pad and be close to my own restroom.  It's the small things in life!