My day started with 6 bowel movements in less than 2 hours.  I could let that make the mark on my day but try hard to choose not to.  So I kept moving, kept talking, kept working and now I'm exhausted.  But today it didn't win, I just kept going to the restroom and trying to ignore it.  Now, I can't do that many days, but the days that I can, I do and always will as long as I can.  For this small simple way of getting through it today I am very grateful.  I just kept moving and going till I couldn't move anymore.  So now I am off to bed, sleep or no sleep I am going to rest as tomorrow is another day in Crohn's paradise.

And so it goes, my gut hurts so bad today, I can't even fathom eating.  Doesn't mean I'm not hungry but I tried to eat a boiled egg and couldn't finish it, hurts too much.  Doesn't make sense I realize, but it is how it goes.  I never understood why I always so pictures of skinny (deathly) skinny people with Crohn's disease.  It seemed the norm.  Now Crohn's patients appear chubby and very bloated.  It's all the new medications that keep your immune system suppressed or of course steroids can do the same for you too.  When your not on medications for whatever reason, the weight just slips off.   Not to mention the steady bowels.  So if you see super skinny people who don't look healthy, don't be so quick to judge them.  It may be out of their control.  Just like being overweight it can suck to be way underweight too, not to mention malnourished.

When I was diagnosed with Crohn's I didn't even know what it was.  I had never heard of the Disease and left the doctors office, used the pay phone (funny) pay phone and called my husband and told him.  I was crying, didn't even have a clue as to how bad it really was and was to become.  Now, my groomers father had Crohns, my sales clerk at the stores Mother has Crohn's, my daughters friends Niece has Crohns, my daughters Friend has Crohns, my Neighbor across the street Son has Crohn's and so the list goes.  So yesterday is the same as today, probably worse as my lupus turned my face red and my joints feel like I have the flu.  My point is this, I feel this crummy think about the little Niece, the young Friend of my Daughters, the elderly Mother of the sales clerk and so the list goes, they all feel crummy too.  If I can randomly come up with a handful without thinking then I know that everyone else can too and we need to figure out a cure for this disease, eradicate it in it's steps.  Stop the generations coming forward from having to go through the pain and suffering.  So tell people you know that you know someone with Crohn's the more we talk about it, the more likely we are to cure it.

My Crohn's, Lupus and Psoriasis is flaring something terrible.  I am going to talk about Crohn's and how I get through bowel movements that on a scale of 1-10 are a 20.  I cry, pray to god to help me through it, shake, pound my fists and the most effective is use my lamoz breathing to take the focus on the excruciating pain and back to concentrating on my breaths to help me.  It is a very tough existence to have to live through this.  Many times my hubby of 25 plus years will come in and give me a pain pill, yes while I am on the toilet.  Just because he hates to see me suffering and hopes the pill will kick in and help me through it.  This is an exhausting existence and I am not the one and only person with Crohn's Disease going through this.  God help us all.

I spoke with my mother on Facebook video chat today.  I haven't seen her in 3 YEARS!  I was so overcome with emotion, my face turned red from crying.  I had no idea that my computer had this ability.  It took my 17 year old nieces request for me to even realize I could do this and my sons help to install this technology for me.  What a nice, nice gift.  For a while I forgot about my sickness and all the ills of my life and visited with my family. 

Woke up this morning after finally falling asleep at 1:00 a.m.  Of course pain woke me up and it just went downhill quickly.  The pain was excruciating and so were my bowel movements.  But a couple of pain pills later and I was actually able to leave the house and go somewhere today.  With the way my day started I didn't expect that at all.  Understand that I was unable to eat till I got home and then just some yogurt and a piece of toast and I can feel the pain coming on, but really I was able to get out and do something and that is reason to celebrate!

My newest lovely symptom is nausea, particularly if I eat anything of substance.  Now, I happen to be a person who despises vomiting.  For me it is the worse possible thing to happen and here I now have to deal with it.  I had always read that it was a symptom associated with Crohn's Disease but never expected to have to deal with it along with everything else.  Well, I guess I'm special because I now have to deal with that too .  In all seriousness though, the pain and trying to sleep through it is getting harder and harder.  I am in and out of bed all day and still feeling pissed off about having to deal with all of this.