Spent all day yesterday at the Clinic.  Basically did every test that I had done before when I tried to join the Trial.  I am having misgivings.  Not sure exactly why.  But after a full day of everything I need to take back a bowel sample and then will find out if I can join this first phase Trial.  If so, then I would have an appointment set for an infusion or injection of the drug or a placebo.  I won't know which.  Then at week 3, 6 and 8 I would have more tests to go and have done and then if I get relief from either the Placebo or Drug I can then go through the whole process again to see if I qualify for the Maintenance Trial.  At which time I would receive the placebo or drug depending on what was originally given me.   I have misgivings.  This is a lot to go through to may or may not feel better.  Yesterday was over the top too much for me.  I came home and went to bed and got up at 10 a.m.  Today I have been a pill popping maniac just to get through the pain. I had to go do something for work and could barely stand up.  The doctor that saw me was kind and gentle and felt bad that I was so miserable.  She also noticed my Lupus was flaring awful, I had that wonderful butterfly rash across my face and broken out in many other areas.  If I had the money I would just go buy Cimzia to try and get some instant relief.  But since I don't and can't I will continue on this route for the hope of some possible free medication.   I really felt like a guinea pig, being poked and prodded and your Trial Nurse doesn't really want to connect with you, just go through the motions.  Even though he really was kind and efficient.  I hate to complain as I am lucky to have this close by to go and try but I still have misgivings.  I suppose if I didn't something would be wrong.