This is the second night in a row where I have been up with severe pain.  I awoke and couldn't move due to the pain.  Even reaching over for a pain pill made me cry.  Finally, after two and waiting an hour I was able to get out of bed.  But it's the middle of the night and I am up dealing with this.  I am so thankful my two children are grown and I don't have to get up and go to a job.  My only responsibilty is myself.  I do feel bad for my husband.  While we were away it was aparent that I am not up to going anywhere.  The last day we spent in the hotel and each evening, well after 5, I hit the hotel room bed and was asleep.  People keep talking about finding the good in your quest, there honestly is nothing good about being this sick. Period.  God did not give this to me, it is not inspiring and I would change it if I could!