I was blessed with a decent day yesterday but not so much today.  Lovely Crohn's forced me awake and what a morning it was.  I am sitting in bed with a blanket, trying to get through lower abdominal pain.  It seems with having two diseases I can't catch a break very often with a decent day.  My lupus rashes are flaring and that means another flare is close and coming.  It hurts to stand up and sit down but I am just trying to make the best of a bad situation which is all really any of us can do.  Crohn's disease is so brutal and mean.

Wow still not feeling good or right.  But I was able to talk to my daughter today for the first time in weeks.  So miss her.  It's just when you are too sick to think you can't carry on conversations with people or answer the phone without sobbing.  There is no use in making others upset and bringing them down into your own misery.  I prefer to wait till I start to become a bit of myself again, but it's becoming longer and longer between these outbreaks.  I woke up to Crohn's pretty damm miserable and had a hard time sleeping even though I was asleep early evening again.  I feel a tad better today.  I was able to get out of the tub by myself and sit without crying.  Being that sick suck the life out of you and the happiness so the small breaks are appreciated.  I drank a cup of coffee on the deck this morning. Even though I have been in my pj's for hours it's still a step forward from yesterday.

Lupus has really got it's grip on me hard.  It literally hurts to sit up and lye down, more than just a little casual pain, this is cry out in agony pain.  I have to admit it's getting old, but what can I do.  I am waiting for my labs from my doctor, it would be nice to see if my inflammatory markers are high, it won't change much.  Still not much I can do to treat any of this.  Still dealing with liver issues which still prevent me from treating the TB, which keeps me from treating the Crohn's, Lupus, Migraines or Psoriasis.  Not to make light of the Psoriasis but for me it's a walk in the park compared to everything else.  Right now it's the damm Crohn's, even with the little I eat, I seem to pay for it in a big way.  My Lupus rashes are spreading and so is the pain.  My next house will need to have a sit in tub as pulling myself in and out during flares seems to be too much.  I cannot force myself to go anywhere or do anything when I am in this state of suffering, there is no putting on my big girl panties and forcing myself to keep moving.  This is lying in bed just trying to keep my head together during the pain and suffering.  My heart goes out to others suffering similar diseases or similar pain or even this amount of daily suffering.  It takes a toll if you let it, I haven't let it yet but I can understand how it does.  You have to try and stay stronger than what is attacking you, it's hard, damm, damm hard.

It is the third day of falling asleep in the middle of the day and I still wake up in excruciating pain.  After getting dressed today I took off my clothes and put on my robe, the pain of wearing clothes was just too much.  My lupus is rampant throughout my body and that along with Crohn's is just more than I can handle.  I will go back to bed soon again.  The red swollen hurting joints and rashes are just hard to deal with.  I feel for others going through this disease of Lupus along with Crohn's is just hard on a person and very exhausting.  I am taking my pain patch but I'm not sure what it is doing as I think suffering with both diseases at the same time may be too much for any medication to kick.

I am in the middle of a Lupus flare and my Crohn's is aways constant.  Yesterday I went to bed at 3 in the afternoon and slept 19 hours.  Today my Lupus joint pain is so bad I could barely lift myself out of the bathtub.  The joint pain grabs you and grips and just won't let go.  It's really quite miserable.  That and along with my Crohn's having me grab the walls just to get through the damming pain is just taking a toll on me.  I know I need to stay out of the sun and try and sleep this off, but it doesn't go away quickly and it's hard to sleep when your shoulders and hips hurt so bad you can't lye still.  It makes no sense to me that something can't be done.  Last week my chest pains were so bad I thought I was having a heart attack, Lupus seems to affect many parts of your body.  Right now my joints are hurting directly where my red rash flares are showing and they seem to be growing instead of getting better.  And that is my rant for the day.  I can't call my daughter as I don't want to cry when I talk to her on the phone, so I am just hibernating and waiting this all out.  It can't last forever, there has to be some reprieve soon even if it's not soon enough.

Having Lupus is just as bad as Crohn's.  My joints are all red, I have the lupus rash in many places on my body and it literally hurts to stand up and sit down.  My finger tips are numb and tingly, this is a new symptom and I have intermittent chest pains, common in Lupus but I do need to discuss with my doctor.  My hips hurt to sit or lye down, hence my problems with sleeping. I can kind of keep my crohn's at bay by not eating, not an easy way to live.  But the joint pains are really debilitating.  I'm not talking about a little pain here or there it's as if you have ran a marathon every single day.  I am too young to live like this, but what can I do?  I finally got up at 5 a.m. and decided I couldn't lye in pain any longer and just started my day early but it is 10 a.m. and I am back in bed.  I am thankful for a good view from my windows and t.v. to keep my mind occupied and maybe off my pain.  My pain patches are working as I am feeling a little relief now and then but it's very short lived but better than before.  Small glimmers of hope,