The Lupus is really taking it's toll on me.  I slept 28 of the last 48 hours and forced myself out of bed only to feel exhausted.  Fighting off the pain really wears you out.  I find it more important than ever to eat a very well balanced diet.  My Crohn's is the same no matter what I eat, so I figure I might as well as eat as well as possible in the hopes of retaining some of the nutrients.  This morning I had a banana and cashews, lunch will be juice (freshly juiced vegies) and applesauce and finally dinner will be grilled white fish and a half of a sweet potato.  If I get hungry in between I may have some dehydrated fruit or some hummus.  This isn't a diet I am on but a change in my life style.  So many foods are bad for lupus and I finally decided I would do everything in my power to help myself as the medical community hasn't done anything positive for me.  It is the drug companies jobs to keep us sick, if they were to figure out cures for these auto immune diseases then they would go broke, hence keeping us ill is what they are achieving.  Once I figured this out, it changed my whole perspective on what I was willing and wanting to do to achieve health. My goal is to eventually see a Chinese herbal doctor or Naturalpath.

Living daily with Crohns Disease: My Lupus has been flaring something awful. My joi...

Living daily with Crohns Disease: My Lupus has been flaring something awful.  My joi...: My Lupus has been flaring something awful.  My joints are spread with red hot inflammation.  It hurts to sit down, stand up, move, lye still...

My Lupus has been flaring something awful.  My joints are spread with red hot inflammation.  It hurts to sit down, stand up, move, lye still and even trying to sit down to use the facility is excruciating, enough that I cry out in pain.  Evidently Hepatitis C can cause your Lupus to flare.  Well flaring it is.  It is exhausting to be in so much pain and it is out of my control.  My diet is right for this disease being high in vegetables, fruit, no dairy, no red meat, high in fish protein, nuts, seeds and really anything else that is good for you.  I have cut out all processed foods.  I get plenty of rest and have tried to eliminate as much stress as humanly possible.  On the days that I can move I walk my dog good brisk walks twice a day.  If I wasn't sick with diseases and other ailments, I would probably be at the peak of my health.  So now I need to decide if I can really treat my pain on my own as that is the only way I was able to heal my last bought with Hepatis and since my pain patches are causing it, I am in a no win situation.  I tried once recently to ween off of them and the pain always wins.  What in the hell do I do?  I will speak up and not shut up about the importance of pointing out the life threatening side effects from the Biological Drugs being used like candy to treat Immune Diseases.  I wished the doctors would promote drastic changes to your diet, your life and your well beings as a first means of defense before handing out these unknown new and highly touted drugs by drug companies, who are making millions while we suffer into the depths of the earth.

Have you ever left the house and gone somewhere and when you get there you immediately wished you had stayed home  Arriving and doing whatever the task is at hand, just proves to be too much for you to handle?  That was me today at Costco, I felt completely out of sorts.  Just trying to drag myself up and down the isle till it was over with.  It is hard to accept the fact that you are sick and just need to stay home all the time but it is a better environment than pretending to feel well and coming across crass.  I cannot stand and pretend I am well and happy and carry on a conversation and seem interested when I am having a hard time just standing up and functioning.  I think this is one of the very hard things with this disease.  I have learned to say no and eventually people quit asking and the judgement follows, but honestly if getting out of bed each day is all we can muster up to do, then I don't think we should be bullied into doing more than that.  It is what is is.  No one would give up an active life to become a sick hermit at home, it's not about no wanting to, it's about knowing your limits and clearly today I misjudged my own

It is fall and so many of my Crohn's friends are suffering including myself.  I have to believe the change in the weather must be the reason it sends so many of us into flares.  I have been suffering from migraines for weeks now and it has really peeked.  I sit with my sunglasses on and shades pulled and will make it for a short bit and then need to close my eyes.  My Crohn's is active and keeps me up most of the night, I take a pain pill and nod off only to wake up in the bathroom.  Maintaining my eating little or less than nothing to try and control this but it doesn't seem to be helping.  Then there is the lovely Lupus.  My joints are flaming red and it hurts just to try and adjust my body when laying in bed.   I feel completely and utterly broken.  Spent the last 18 hours in bed and I am back in bed again.  To say this is a hard life is an understatement.  Some people say when they get sick that they wouldn't change anything, the experience made them a better person.  I say screw that, I would change everything!  There is nothing about being chronically ill that has made me a better person.

I am going longer in between pain patches in the hopes of slowly weaning myself off this medication.  The easier way I am told is to go on methadone and you don't experience the nasty side effects.  The problem along with all this is that my pain is also coming back with a strong furry.  My crohn's has increased and it hurts to move.  I sit here with my feet up and a heating pad underneath them for some relief.  I have no idea what in the world I am going to do once I get myself off this crap as before I was bed bound.  But if I continue to take it I will continue to have hepatitis and the side effects of liver damage as just as damming.  I realize I cannot give up but I do feel a bit hopeless.  What in the hell am I going to do?  I guess just get through getting off these patches, which will take a few months and hopefully get through having hepatitis, an increase in my Crohn's Disease and Lupus pain that is unjust and unbearable.