So my GI decided that I wasn't a good candidate for a badly needed Hysterectomy.  So instead I continue to endure more pain than I could ever imagine experiencing in my lifetime.  All I can do is lye in bed at times and cry and just pray that I will get through it.  My pain medication just does nothing during this time.  My only hope is possibly menopause will settle everything down and I'm sure this is just blind hope on my part.  My lupus has set back in and I still can't rollover to move to get out of bed in the morning, am bent over when trying to get up from a sitting position and just generally have very hurting joints.  But the best thing I can do is get up and pretend to the best of my ability that I can do it, until afternoon sets in and I give in to pajamas and bed by 5 pm.  I am thankful for a patient spouse who seems to understand that I can do nothing about not being able to keep my eyes open past this time and lets me sleep.  Other times the pain is so bad that I am unable to sleep so the fact that I pass out for twelve plus hours is generally just relief.  It is a sad way to see my life go by but I hold onto the hope that this will get better!