When someone in my family dies, my relatives act as if they were the greatest person on earth.  What I don't understand is, if you think so highly of that person why not put the time and effort into visiting, letting them know your thinking about them or acting as if you give shit they were alive when they were alive.  What is the bull of pretending they were important after their death.  I know I stand in judgement because I don't do funerals.  When my dear friend passed away a few years back, she knew how I felt about funerals and wouldn't have expected me there, I visited her frequently when she was ill and she knew I was her friend.  My point being, if you know someone who is sick, take a moment and ask how they are doing.  Call once in a blue moon, shoot off an email, send a card or visit with them.  Don't wait till it's too late and attend a gathering where they won't be, give them the gift of your presence before it's too late.  Everyone knows someone who is not feeling well, a little bit of friendliness can go a long way in brightening someones day!